Tuesday, July 22, 2008
panic attack. i had a panic attack on sunday. suddenly i didn't know if choosing accountancy was the right thing to do. i didn't know if accountancy was smth i wanted to do for the rest of my life.
half of me is looking forward to uni while the other half of me isn't. i don't want uni to start cos it means getting that much closer to growing up, that much closer to entering the working world, that much closer to being all responsible for yourself and not rely on your parents to look after you.
sometimes i feel so useless, following the s'pore education system so much so that when it ends here at uni level i'm afraid of the uncertainty coming up next. i don't like not knowing what the future holds, i need a plan, and i need my life to go according to that plan or i'll just start freaking out and worrying my brains out.
so silly really how protected i've been. now i wonder if being protected is such a good thing after all.
on the other hand, i want uni to start so i can start stressing over tutorials again, stressing over keeping up with classmates and stressing over whether you'll pass the next exam. being bored at home just kills me i think. i hate it when my mind starts wondering. i need smth to keep me busy.
jeremiah 29:11
"for i know the plans i have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
the first bible verse i ever memorised. you can see why. i really need to trust God more! shield of faith.
been sick for 3 days now. and i just want it to go away. i'm being stubborn and not wanting to see a doctor cos i don't wanna waste money. haha. the last time i did this i was sick for the entire wk and in the end was still forced to see a doctor. ok maybe if i'm not well tmr i'll go. procrastination.
keeping it inside. it's just gonna come out like word vomit one day. or maybe it'll just dissolve and go away...
panic attack. i had a panic attack on sunday. suddenly i didn't know if choosing accountancy was the right thing to do. i didn't know if accountancy was smth i wanted to do for the rest of my life.
half of me is looking forward to uni while the other half of me isn't. i don't want uni to start cos it means getting that much closer to growing up, that much closer to entering the working world, that much closer to being all responsible for yourself and not rely on your parents to look after you.
sometimes i feel so useless, following the s'pore education system so much so that when it ends here at uni level i'm afraid of the uncertainty coming up next. i don't like not knowing what the future holds, i need a plan, and i need my life to go according to that plan or i'll just start freaking out and worrying my brains out.
so silly really how protected i've been. now i wonder if being protected is such a good thing after all.
on the other hand, i want uni to start so i can start stressing over tutorials again, stressing over keeping up with classmates and stressing over whether you'll pass the next exam. being bored at home just kills me i think. i hate it when my mind starts wondering. i need smth to keep me busy.
jeremiah 29:11
"for i know the plans i have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
the first bible verse i ever memorised. you can see why. i really need to trust God more! shield of faith.
been sick for 3 days now. and i just want it to go away. i'm being stubborn and not wanting to see a doctor cos i don't wanna waste money. haha. the last time i did this i was sick for the entire wk and in the end was still forced to see a doctor. ok maybe if i'm not well tmr i'll go. procrastination.
keeping it inside. it's just gonna come out like word vomit one day. or maybe it'll just dissolve and go away...
watchin u;
at 7:41 PM